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prairiedaun Feb. 1st, 2005 11:40 pm)
prairiedaun Feb. 1st, 2005 11:40 pm)I feel myself slipping into depression at the moment. A combination of stress, hormones and just plain being fed up with a lot of things right now is the cause- House of Leaves just seems to be the catalyst. I'm going to try to get it done as soon as possible, and hope that I snap out of it afterwords. Lords and Ladies is waiting for me at the library, so Pratchett after this should cheer me up nicely.
God, I'm using the same type of techniques we used on dad when he was going through his depression, when we tried to get him out of it. I'm so very much like my parents sometimes, it frightens me.
There have just been so many things lately reminding me of my father, and I have to say it is getting better after all this time, but it still hurts like hell. I miss you.
Mom asked me if we should get another kitten. Apparently there's this kitten a teenaged boy found, and he tried to keep it, but his mom said no so he hid it in his room for a while and took very good care of it, then his mom found it and put it out in the garage overnight, where it froze the pads of its feet. I think another cat might make Grimm upset, and I'd hate for her to hurt the poor thing, but I don't really want another pet right now. I think mom might have wanted it though, I don't know.
I just don't seem to be wanting a lot of the things that other people want right now. It's strange, a lot of my friends are really focussed on finding a boyfriend right now. I could honestly care less; this is such a change from a few years ago when all I could think about was boys. I flirt, but it's more of a personality trait, because I flirt with everyone. I just know that I'm so fucked up right now that I don't want to complicate things by adding another person. I tried to do that a few years ago with Kyle, and I just ended up ignoring him all of the time.
School is... alright, except for two things. I'm falling behind in my Stylistics class (my cohesion project is 2 weeks late and my rhetoric is 1 week late; I really don't have much of a clue as to what I should be doing with them. *sigh*) I should be working on it now, but I'm on the edge.
I haven't been able to much much time into my extra-curricular activities lately. I missed curling on Saturday because of the conference (although, we may have ended up forfeiting because of the Canadian open anyway) and I haven't been to band in who knows how long. *sigh* Sorry.
I'm just going to go lie down in the dark, try not to cry and wait until I can start this all over again tomorrow.
God, I'm using the same type of techniques we used on dad when he was going through his depression, when we tried to get him out of it. I'm so very much like my parents sometimes, it frightens me.
There have just been so many things lately reminding me of my father, and I have to say it is getting better after all this time, but it still hurts like hell. I miss you.
Mom asked me if we should get another kitten. Apparently there's this kitten a teenaged boy found, and he tried to keep it, but his mom said no so he hid it in his room for a while and took very good care of it, then his mom found it and put it out in the garage overnight, where it froze the pads of its feet. I think another cat might make Grimm upset, and I'd hate for her to hurt the poor thing, but I don't really want another pet right now. I think mom might have wanted it though, I don't know.
I just don't seem to be wanting a lot of the things that other people want right now. It's strange, a lot of my friends are really focussed on finding a boyfriend right now. I could honestly care less; this is such a change from a few years ago when all I could think about was boys. I flirt, but it's more of a personality trait, because I flirt with everyone. I just know that I'm so fucked up right now that I don't want to complicate things by adding another person. I tried to do that a few years ago with Kyle, and I just ended up ignoring him all of the time.
School is... alright, except for two things. I'm falling behind in my Stylistics class (my cohesion project is 2 weeks late and my rhetoric is 1 week late; I really don't have much of a clue as to what I should be doing with them. *sigh*) I should be working on it now, but I'm on the edge.
I haven't been able to much much time into my extra-curricular activities lately. I missed curling on Saturday because of the conference (although, we may have ended up forfeiting because of the Canadian open anyway) and I haven't been to band in who knows how long. *sigh* Sorry.
I'm just going to go lie down in the dark, try not to cry and wait until I can start this all over again tomorrow.
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Don't know about everyone else, but I talk about finding boyfriends because it's easier to focus on that than other more important things. We all cope in different ways...
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*hugs* Wish there was someway I could make your stress & angst vanish...
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I think this really is part of the problem, because I did feel a bit better this afternoon, walking up Riel and just breathing in fresh air.
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Because I helped her de-region-ify her dvd player she's gonna lend me the dvd at some stage so I can burn it. And I'll burn one for you too.
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I'm really, really thinking of trating myself by buying Misery Harbour and 24 Heurs Dans La Vie D'une Femme. Maybe I'll just rent the Nik movies that I can find and don't have, and have a happy weekend.